Grey Hair + Social Statements

What does grey hair mean to you? What does it symbolize? Are there any women out there with grey hair that we consider sexy?

I've been going grey for a long time. I discovered my first grey hair before I graduated high school. No shock there, knowing my family it was highly anticipated.

My maternal grandmother went grey at 16, hers came in as a white streak in the front - very chic and stylish. She never coloured her hair, accepting the grey that became white. It suits her and her white hair is her trademark- beautiful white that glimmers and radiates. My mother went grey a bit later, in her twenties, but had already started colouring it before that. She's been colouring it ever since and now, with completely white roots has to maintain the colour every three weeks. It is her battle, her nemesis, her bothersome routine. My dad too, has been grey for years. The middle brother in a family of 8 siblings, he turned salt and pepper first, in his early 30s. My Israeli uncles would joke that his moving to cold, snowy Canada was represented in his hair.

Thus, grey was my expected destiny.
I knew it was coming and wished I would be as lucky as my grandmother with a sexy white stripe seductively falling forward. Instead, mine came in as spilt milk on the crown of my head moving forward, taking over in a quiet revolution, abolishing auburn in favour of silver thread.

I initially opted for my mother's solution - dye it back to what it was, hide the grey and hide it well. This was continued until recently. I coloured my hair at home using Herbatint - a vegetable based peroxide-free, cruelty-free colour for about 12 years. In that time, the grey continued to grow masked by Light Copper Chestnut, roots erased at regular 6 week intervals. Family, friends, strangers all commented on how natural it looked, how the shade suited me, how beautiful it looked in the light. I loved the colour and the way it made me feel - vivacious, audacious, cute and fresh. I thought I would continue in this manner for a long time. After all, 36 is rather young to be completely grey and the tinted shade enhanced my pale complexion in a manner I'm certain peppery brown will not.

Still, recently my attitude changed. I can't pinpoint the moment. Perhaps it was the fact that I realized that hair dye doesn't stop time. It can't halt the eventual expropriation of grey over my cocoa-coppery hair. Perhaps I was bothered by the wastefulness of the process. Painting over the grey requires a new box of colour each month thus disposing of a container of colour and a container of activating gel - neither of which can be recycled. And, the time of the process is tedious. Covering the grey takes about 45 minutes for the roots, waiting half an hour, covering the ends, waiting 10 minutes, rinsing, shampooing, conditioning, rinsing again and finally drying.
I realize that beauty takes time - there is no such thing as a true natural. Everyone has to take time to look good. But for me it became less of looking good and more of hiding from myself.
Perhaps the decision has to do with the fact that my mother is currently going through a hair crisis as she wishes to stop hiding the grey but cannot unless she cuts off all her hair and starts over. As she is now entirely white, it makes sense to give up on the colour. However, my brother is getting married in 2 months and she doesn't want to look in-between. Also, and this may be the bigger issue, my father doesn't want her to look like an old lady.

My dad has opposed the grey issue for years. He can accept the grey for himself, but not for her. This struck me as odd and clearly reflective of society as a whole.

There are currently very few women - known celebrities who accept the grey and wear it proud. In fact, I can't think of any to mention by name. People Magazine's 100 Beautiful doesn't have any female beauty with grey hair. Yet, George Clooney is salt and pepper and stunning. He is distinguished with grey - while I will be deemed dowdy. Famous women tend to sign up for contracts with Clairol, L'oreal, etc. For example, Teri Hatcher, Chantal Kreviazuk, Heather Locklear, Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez, Sarah Jessica Parker - all at one time or another pitched for the dye job. Obviously, Hollywood being the epicentre of youth glamour, denying the grey makes sense. But I question the issue further - is grey on a woman less beautiful?

If I maintain my physique, maintain my complexion and my health will grey hair automatically make me look like a crone? A witch? A spinster? Will men find me attractive? Will it make me sexier? Individualistic? Creative? Unique? Beautiful? I cannot decide.

I know these are not new questions. Academics and social commentators have all studied the politics and implications of the issue. But now it affects me on a personal level. So I continue to ask and ponder.

For now, I am trying to grow out the colour and see how I'll feel. It's going to take a long time. I don't want to cut it all off in a drastic manner. I'm going for the slow and painful method. I may cave in and get hi-lites to hide the clear differentiation between Light Chestnut and Brownish Grey. I may have to give up and give in. Especially considering that I don't want to look ridiculous for the upcoming wedding. However, for now I'm going to try to stick with it and see what happens with this experiment. If it goes really wrong and I look silly as a silvery toned mop-top I'll have to reconsider.

One thing though, I'm paying more attention to those women who don't dye the grey. I'm judging and assessing, evaluating and inspecting. The jury is deliberating while the grey of course, is always progressing.